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A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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There's a secret you should know

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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very special super-super-secret cookies.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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And maybe a little uncomfortable.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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Something else? Louise, it's been a year and a half!

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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And it was a sharp one.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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You and I have a problem.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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A moustache, a moustache, a moustache

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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and the diseases, and the wild animals, and the Indians,

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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To build a home and a life in this harsh, unforgiving country

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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I haven't seen you in town in a week and a half

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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A nickel a target.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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A moustache A moustache

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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A moustache A moustache

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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A moustache, a moustache

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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A moustache A moustache

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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there was a drowning, and the Indians attacked.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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and they plan to build a farm.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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And I have a surprise for you.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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and the tooth fairy will leave you a penny.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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and life was a daily struggle for survival.