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A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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there was a knife fight, a stage collapsed,

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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just cutting yourself down.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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that basically cuts it in big blocks

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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I'm gonna get you a big old stack of fresh-cut steaks.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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Like that? Straight.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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just like you.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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"She likes me now,"

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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And I like it.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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You don't like it.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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You seem like a pretty sexually adventurous guy.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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Like, right underneath my eye.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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Would you like to try?

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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And because I liked you.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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I would also like to offer a heartfelt prayer

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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before she realizes what a good guy looks like.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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My story is a lot like yours, I suppose.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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It looks like a firecracker wrapped in roast beef.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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Every year, something like this happens.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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There's nothing I like more than

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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and he always smells like sheep,