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A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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Andrew, Jonathan, no. Go, go, go. Go home.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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And then one day, she did.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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Possibly for the first time in my entire life.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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Never been more serious in my life. You and me, pistols.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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You're heading back to town in the middle of the day.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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and life was a daily struggle for survival.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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To build a home and a life in this harsh, unforgiving country

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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and, you know, it seems like you're just staying in and sleeping all day.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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For the last three days, the highest-ranking official in our town

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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two in the pond, and one on the roof.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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and I saw one in the backyard,

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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Let's go in the shade and fuck.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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and the diseases, and the wild animals, and the Indians,

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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and maybe we even laugh about it one day.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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for a wee bit and then we'll come for you in 12 days.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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I know. I've never been happy for 30 seconds in a row in my life.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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You are ready to relieve the stress of the day.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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So, big day tomorrow.

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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I went to your farm the other day,

A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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from inhaling poisoned gas, 12 hours a day, down in the mines.