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South Park (1997) - S01E01 Comedy

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And black Army CIA helicopters and trucks.

South Park (1997) - S01E01 Comedy

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...and then there were cows and aliens.

South Park (1997) - S01E01 Comedy

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And they had big heads and black eyes.

South Park (1997) - S01E01 Comedy

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...and freed the Hebrews from Napoleon and discovered France.

South Park (1997) - S01E01 Comedy

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And you only got 20 minutes before Sanford and Son is on!

South Park (1997) - S01E01 Comedy

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Matt Stone and Trey Parker.

South Park (1997) - S01E01 Comedy

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Trey, it's okay. Go ahead and tell them.

South Park (1997) - S01E01 Comedy

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Brush and floss. Where has that finger been?"

South Park (1997) - S01E01 Comedy

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...and Cartman has strange things implanted in his ass.

South Park (1997) - S01E01 Comedy

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- They're are real. - They abduct people and mutilate cows.

South Park (1997) - S01E01 Comedy

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Columbus discovered America and was the Indians' best friend.

South Park (1997) - S01E01 Comedy

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- Go on and go home, you fat chicken! - Dildo!

South Park (1997) - S01E01 Comedy

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And now, a fireside chat with the creators of South Park:

South Park (1997) - S01E01 Comedy

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The only family we have is each other and old Scratch.

South Park (1997) - S01E01 Comedy

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So sit back, relax and enjoy "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe."

South Park (1997) - S01E01 Comedy

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And slowly my bedroom door opened. The next thing I remember...

South Park (1997) - S01E01 Comedy

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Shut up. You're trying to scare me, and it's not working.

South Park (1997) - S01E01 Comedy

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Was it the ones with the big heads and black eyes?

South Park (1997) - S01E01 Comedy

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If I don't get out of school and get Ike back...

South Park (1997) - S01E01 Comedy

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- Now, you go and play in the fun snow. - Goddamn it!