Ma'am, I ain't doubting them, but, uh, them's things a man kind of likes to find out for himself.

But should you have guaranteed to find him one today?

Chief, I am as eager as you to find Mr. Clampett a mate locally.

I guarantee I will find the woman right here in Beverly Hills, and today.

I'd like you to get me one of them airplane tickets to go back home.

Mr. Drysdale's gonna cull through a bunch of them and trot out the best of the lot.

And if I can get them together, I can have it all right here in my back.

I'm fixing to go home and court myself a hill woman.

Jed, I still say that you ought to go back home to do your courting, where the woman could bring you a dowry.

But now it's time to say goodbye to Jed and all his kin.

Why, if it was to hug one of them, she'd squirt out of your arms like a prune pit.

Come on out to the kitchen and we'll commence fratting him up.

Winner, I know you ain't one to beat around the bush, and I'm going to speak plain myself.

It was your responsibility to turn that wild girl into a lady, and you failed.

So they loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly Hills, that is.

Well, ma'am, I'd kind of like to tune up and sing you a song or two first.

Both you and I know that those first 10 million are very hard to come by.