But when able-bodied folks have to have their riddles toted up to bed to them, I think it's downright sinful and lazy.

Well, Granny, you and me don't go to a whole heap of pictures, neither.

And so, without further ado, allow me to present the newest sensation of the entertainment world,

Well, ladies and gentlemen, thanks to Mr. Jake Crampett here, his cousin Jed has decided to get into show business like the rest of us.

Opal, take her down to Western Costumes immediately and have her outfitted for the role of straight-shootin' Jean, the dance hall queen.

I would like to present Hollywood's newest and most glamorous star, the queen of the silver screen, that dazzling beauty, Miss Venus Adore.

Of course, I could anger myself up and put a stop to the whole thing, but I'd much rather they'd see for themselves.