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The Office (2005) - S09E09 Dwight Christmas

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has traveled from distant lands

The Office (2005) - S09E09 Dwight Christmas

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to discover how all the boys and the girls

The Office (2005) - S09E09 Dwight Christmas

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Where's the karaoke machine?

The Office (2005) - S09E09 Dwight Christmas

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Where are the sugar cookies?

The Office (2005) - S09E09 Dwight Christmas

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Jim got the bigger half.

The Office (2005) - S09E09 Dwight Christmas

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through the birth canal when I was born.

The Office (2005) - S09E09 Dwight Christmas

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The cookies and toys and sweets are mere distractions.

The Office (2005) - S09E09 Dwight Christmas

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And, after we finish it, we get to break the pig rib.

The Office (2005) - S09E09 Dwight Christmas

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We're out there

The Office (2005) - S09E09 Dwight Christmas

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sweating our balls off every day,

The Office (2005) - S09E09 Dwight Christmas

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bustin' our balls.

The Office (2005) - S09E09 Dwight Christmas

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We deserve a Christmas party!

The Office (2005) - S09E09 Dwight Christmas

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Well, then, why don't we just get some liquor

The Office (2005) - S09E09 Dwight Christmas

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- Topless Christmas. - Tapas Swiss miss!

The Office (2005) - S09E09 Dwight Christmas

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Ugh. What is this stuff, lava?

The Office (2005) - S09E09 Dwight Christmas

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That is gluhwein, otherwise known as glow-wine,

The Office (2005) - S09E09 Dwight Christmas

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And, interesting factoid,

The Office (2005) - S09E09 Dwight Christmas

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- Enjoy. - What is it?

The Office (2005) - S09E09 Dwight Christmas

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This is austere, Meredith.

The Office (2005) - S09E09 Dwight Christmas

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Belsnickel, I gotta run out early too.