Mr. De Beauvois, your conduct this evening has been intolerable.

You were the genie. You froze in your gold trousers. Mr. Freeze we called you.

A cheese plant can send you into a panic.

Time for a break. Let's have a liquorice roly, a double brandy and bitch about the industry.

- OK. I'll send you a postcard. - I'll send you a postcard.

- How come? - Our singer got pushed in a canal by a gorilla.

- then got backed over by a wizard in a van. - 12 times.

A pencil? No, no, no! Look, it's Niagara Falls. It's a seagull.

I'm a big actor. Look.

You've got muscular legs, like a football player. That needn't be a bad thing.

- That was a mistake. - Yeah, right.

What? That was a good comeback.

Vince, you're a nice guy and you've got a good look, but... you ever played football?

- He's a Nik Nak in a ginger wig. - Why are you letting it get to you?

I did a bit of acting once.

Tell me a story with your nose.

It was the part of a crab.

Not yet. I think we'll have to do an instrumental set. It's a bit of a shame.

Hey, if Sammy's looking a bit sluggish, pop a couple of Berocca into his tank, will you?

He once strapped 14 cameras to the back of a dying swan and hurled it into a supermarket.