It's an old Irish tradition.

You can see an old lady wearing a flag thong and go, Grandma, don't tell me where Old Glory is!

At 17 years old, I beat up a guy.

Well, there is a problem - it's a year old.

I'll remember this, ladies and gentlemen. It's an old phrase,

Well, it's not like it's a relic. It's a year old.

Look at this old C-SPAN. Congress is in session and no one's there.

Listen, if there's an 85-year-old lady in a walker and she's a terrorist,

The old bastard's right. Look at that. You gotta be different to make an impression.

The next thing you know, they're patting down an 85-year-old lady in a walker.

But even in the face of tyranny there is comedy. Two old Jews were sent to kill Hitler.

Oh, man.

I wrote down some lines for you. They're fantastic, if I must say so. I even threw in an old Hitler joke.

- 900. - (man) N.

(man) Yes, sir.

(# Hurdy Gurdy Man by Donovan)

I was once a healthy man.

To Jack Menken, a man who once said:

(man) From Studio 8H in the Rockefeller Center,

And, uh, you've elected a man as President who is probably the unluckiest man in the world in that area.