Oh, let's get the tickets.

Hi, excuse me. Uh, we're here about tickets.

-Uh, why does he get tickets? -Because he works here.

-What do you want? -Tickets for Friday's show. -Sold out. Sorry.

Yeah, so maybe I'll buy her and Zach tickets to the show.

-What? -Yeah. It was the only way I could get those tickets.

-Well, if I work here, could I get tickets? -You don't work here.

-Minimum wage, long, uh, taking tickets, cleaning toilets, and the light preparation of fried foods.

-What are you even doing here? -I need tickets. I'll do anything to get them.

-Thank you so much. Here are your tickets, and I threw in a couple extras. -Cool, thanks.

-Oh, okay, it's two tickets to The Walkmen tomorrow night. -I'm not going to a concert with you, ass.

-You're doing this for a girl? -Well, to be clear, I'm actually getting the tickets for her and her boyfrien...

-But why? -Well, I needed the tickets to show you that I could be selfless, and I needed to be selfless to get you to stop