You're Jed Clampett.

Jed Clampett, just like mother described you.

Tell me, Mr. Clampett.

The Beverly Hillbilly.

No, no, no, Mr. Clampett.

Well, thank you, Mr. Clampett.

Get Jet Clampett on the phone.

Now, uh, Mr. Clampett... How would you like to buy the Hollywood Bowl?

Mr. Clampett, how would you like to buy the city of San Francisco?

You know something, Jed?

And this is just one of the features of this wonderful investment you're making, Mr. Clampett.

Oh, Jed, I ain't neither.

Jed, did you hear that?

Hillbilly, that is.

You know, the odds are 1,001 against this confidence man singling out the Clampetts, and even greater against them falling for it.

Uncle Jed, you just gotta buy this.

Mr. Clampett, if I may, as owner of Hollywood Bowl, I become an expert judge of musical talent, and I wonder if I might hear Mrs. Bodine perform.

The kinfolk said, Jed, move away from there.

Let her win, Jed, for once she's right.

Get off the road, you cranky hillbilly!