Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips

I feel good coming here. I like it here.
What I'm trying to say is that when it gets to midnight...
Fred.
- I've been good, Ma. I've been real good. - That's nice.
- ...but I know it can't be good. - It sounds like he's in a tough spot.
Red Fred has entered the building. I repeat, Red Fred has entered the building.
Let's get you to work.
You're not gonna believe this.
Can I get you a cup of coffee?
Fred, I feel ridiculous.
I despise reindeer.
Really? I thought you were here to take advantage of your well-meaning brother.
Charlene. We still have plenty of time, don't we?
...that little tree could grow up strong.
Ha-ha. Oh, Nicholas.
Please make him welcome and let him observe.
Papers? What are you from, the 1950s?
How am I ever gonna be seen in public again? It's ridiculous.
I am confident that they will impress you, sir.
Somebody's gonna get in trouble!
- Rest assured, my man. - Mail delivery.
I'm bringing all my gifts to him. He needs them more than I.
...and even his life.
Oh. I just wish you were a little more like your brother.
Listen, I don't wanna hear no futzing from you, pal.
Stop it. Use your words. Use your words.
Without them, we have no idea what the children want.
...he became angry.
...he fulfilled his mother's prophecy.
Wanda, there's this unfortunate business situation I have to leave for tonight.
Uh...
...because I know you. You didn't know.
You marked every naughty child as nice.
What?
What the hell, it's Christmas. Go ahead, make another call.
Oh. Well, Santa did ask me to give you a full orientation of the gift-giving process...
Right. Call the cops, man.
You know what? I'm gonna change the song, then, for you.
Here comes "Here Comes Santa Claus" on NP-100.
Um, I actually have some things I'd like to talk about if--
And I'm feeling very uncomfortable with where you're coming from.
- I wouldn't know my way around reindeer-- - Hey, Fred.
Whoa!
That's great. I'm really happy for you, Nick.
Don't come in bouncing off the walls.
Are you there--?
Yeah, I am, Nick. I'm gonna give you $10,000 for Christmas.
Don't bring a snowmobile to a snowball fight, Nick.
Oh.
The world grew to know and love him as Santa Claus.
That's wonderful.
- And he's bashing the Salvation Army. - I'm not bashing the Salvation Army.
Hey, guys.
- I hear you. Let me out! - Let's heat it up! Let's heat it up!
Take his legs out!
Well, I would imagine he's probably a very hard worker, considering.
You already know what it is, so it's not a surprise.
Most of the time, we just end up staying over at her boyfriend's.
It's hard to pass these beauties up. You're too generous.
I find all the good kids.
Very important, okay?
But why did he bite them?
The feet are dirty, the couch is clean.
Hey, Fred, it's Leon. It's the 22nd. This is your big day, buddy.
It's the story of a boy named Fred.
But I feel like my brother's Santa Claus because my brother really is Santa Claus.
...and trying to keep them at bay so you can get you to come through.
I'll see you before then, right?
Got you. Got you.
Well, but it could get so much worse, Santa.
Can't dance yet.
- Willie, how do I do this? - Just say "ho."
Mr. Claus? Hi. Hello. Welcome to the North Pole. It's so nice to have you here.
Don't get physical with me. We're trying to share.
But I don't know how Santa's gonna know where to bring me my gifts this year...
People help the people
Okay. Now, I think we go to Roger.
Yeah. I need to get to the North Pole right away, like, tonight.
...and I don't even recognize them. You know, like, "Oh, of course. Charlene."
- Your brother gave us quite a shindig. - Fred sent a lovely gift, though.
Oh, boy. Okay, that seems pretty cut and dried.
If you guys are gonna go out this year...
- I wanna hear you say the 22nd. - It's gonna be perfect.
Come on.
If I tell you, it would no longer be a surprise.
So 5 grand, Michigan Avenue Police Station...
And you're gonna have a child before you graduate college.
- Um-- - Well, well, well.
He'd run and he'd fall flat on his face.
You can't just run up and kick someone like that. How old are you?
We were very close growing up. I mean, we shared bunk beds.
That's it. One more time, come on. Yes.
Whatever. It's gonna be fi-- We're gonna work it out.
He's a fame junkie.
All the kids' letters come here to the North Pole Post Office...
Well, what can I do, Mr. Northcutt?
Great.
My man, Fred.
Yes, I'm sure it was.
...and on the History Channel was the State of the Union Address from 1993.